Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Neil Diamond, Sunday, December 11, St. Louis, MO, Savvis Center

One out of four attendees had a Christmas sweater on. That's 5,000 Christmas sweaters in one building. I wonder what the world record is. Christmas sweaters are like alternate road uniforms. The only black guy in the arena was Neil's conga man. But Bob Costas was there in a black leather jacket, which atoned for that deficiency. Sort of. There's only one word to describe Neil's performance: professional. I suspect he didn't sing "Solitary Man" because he's more of a team player in his advanced age. But he sang just about everything else, including my personal favorite, "Love on the Rocks." Women still swoon at the sight of Sir Neil, who's got to be in his sixties. Granted, he's a good-looking man, but he gives off a sexual energy I haven't really witnessed since I managed Edgar Renteria. Few people know that I attended this concert with an endangered baby mountain lion on leash. When Neil did his "Johnathan Seagull Suite," there were pictures of birds on jumbo screens on either side of the stage. There were also bird emblems on Neil's acoustic guitar. Cherry, cherry. My mountain lion went berserk at the sight of the birds, so we had to put him down. Lesson learned: Never take a baby mountain lion to a Neil Diamond show. Which begs the question: What about an adult mountain lion? Could he look at the bird pictures without wanting to attack Neil's guitar? I'm not sure I'm going to give myself -- or the lion -- a chance to find out.


Anonymous A Baby Mountain Lion said...

Why, Tony? Why?

2:17 PM

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