Lucinda Williams and Doug Pettibone: The Pageant, March 15, 2006

Have you ever looked at, I mean really looked at the way So Taguchi fills out a uniform? The media guide's got him at 163 but tie me up with duct tape and tickle me silly if he's an ounce over 157.

Can a man be wiry and pumped at the same time? Can a person be in two places at once? If a song is played in Lafayette, can you hear it in Lake Charles?

You could bounce a quarter off his ass.

If I were a meat eater, I'd spread Lucinda Williams on a cracker.

But I'm not, so I don't.